There are reports of this one working its way from the playground to the classroom as an anti-smoking lesson:
We three kings of oil and tar
tried to smoke a smelly cigar
it was loaded, it exploded
now we are orbiting mars
Dates to at least the early 1950s - if anything, I'd say this is heard more often than the source, "We Three Kings of Orient Are."
In the 1970s, Iona Opie picked up this version, which actually has the chorus, in the UK:
We three kings of Leicester Square
selling ladies underwear
how fantastic, no elastic
not very safe to wear
O, star of wonder, star of light
the royal knickers caught alight
how fantastic, no elastic
guide me to the traffic lights
I'd be interested to see if this one made it to the States.
LOTS of variations - add the ones you sang in the comments!
We three kings of orient are
ReplyDeleteTrying to smoke a rubber cigar
It was loaded it exploded......
...we two kings of orient are...
Heard it about 10 years ago from my friend, Jackie, she grew up in Cleavland, OH
My parents moved from London area to Canada, and I can remember my mother singing this when we were kids, a slight variation of what you have posted:
ReplyDeleteWe three kings of Butternut Square
Selling ladies' underwear
They're fantastic, no elastic
Why don't you buy a pair?
Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada, 1970s
We three kings of orient are
ReplyDeleteOne in a taxi, one in a car
One on a scooter, blowing his hooter
Smoking a pink/big cigar
North West England early 2000's
I remember singing this in school playground in mid 1950's in London.
DeleteI remember singing this in school playground in mid 1950's in London.
DeleteWe three kings of orient are
ReplyDeleteOne in a taxi, one in a car
One on a scooter, blowing his hooter
Smoking a big cigar
South Africa (1970s)
I can only remember parodies of We Three Kings that were two lines long...
ReplyDeleteWe three kings of Orient are
tried to smoke a rubber cigar
and
We three kings of Orient are
tried to play a steel guitar
(Minnesota 2000s)
Redondo Beach CA 1967
ReplyDeleteWe three kings of orient are
tried to light a rubber cigar
It was loaded, it exploded
All the way up to the moon
we three kings of orient are
ReplyDeleteselling ladies panties and bras
no elastic so fantastic
25 cents a pair
(Zimbabwe1980s)
We three kings of Leicester Square
ReplyDeleteSelling knickers two pence a pair
They're fantastic, no elastic
Buy your granny a pair!
(South Africa in the early 1990s, but learned out of an imported UK joke book. It wasn't one I ever heard fom my friends)
Los Angeles 50's - 60's
ReplyDeleteWe three kings of orient are
Dared to smoke a rubber cigar
It was loaded,
It exploded
Now there are only two
Etc
We three kings of Orient are
ReplyDeleteTried to smoke a rubber cigar
It was loaded, we exploded
Spreading ash afar.
We three kings of Orient are
ReplyDeleteSmoking on a rubber cigar.
It was loaded and exploded,
Now we three kings are no more.
One of my favorites as a child in late '80s Oregon; although I first heard it from my father who was born in Pittsburgh in 1950, so I'm assuming he'd have heard it there in the '50s or '60s.
In Australia in the 90s the version I heard was
ReplyDeleteWe three kings of Leicester Square
Selling Grandma's underwear
So fantastic, no elastic
Only a penny a pair.
This means that either it predates 14th February 1966 when we changed from pounds etc to dollars and cents, or it was imported from the UK/US and never got changed, regardless of when it arrived.
Australia has a particularly unique relationship with Christmas songs, as obviously it is summer, and so much of the lyrics and sentiments make no sense. This has given rise to a rich parody culture and so we had for example "Rusty Holden Ute" to the tune of "Jingle Bells" or a song called "Six White Boomers" where Santa had to change his reindeer for kangaroos, and take off his stuffy jacket and thick boots when he got here!
60's version in Northern Michigan:
ReplyDeleteWe three kings of oil and tar
Smoking on a rubber cigar
it was loaded it exploaded
now we are no more...
OOOH sounds of thunder
Flash of light
Blown to bits this star lit night.
And thats as far as my grade school friends and I could get before the Music teacher kicked us out of class :)
ReplyDeleteWe three kings of oil and tar
ReplyDeleteTried to smoke a rubber cigar
It was loaded. It exploded.
That was the end of the kings.
Northeast Missouri, mid 1960's:
ReplyDeleteWe three kings of orient are,
Tryin' to smoke a rubber cigar.
It was loaded and it exploded
That's how we got this far.
I heard it from my father whose Jamaican:
ReplyDeleteWe three kings of curry and rye,
Tried to smoke a rotten cigar.
One on a bicycle, two on a tricycle,
Three on a donkey cart.