All together now:
There's a place in France
where the naked ladies dance
there's a hole in the wall
where the man can see it all
but the men don't care
cause the chew their underwear
So THAT's why Charlie Chaplin had to go to France to teach the ladies how to dance! I've no idea how long this one goes back - certainly no earlier than the early 1890s, though, as that's all the further back the melody goes. It was apparently written in the build-up to the 1893 World's Fair by Sol Bloom, a promoter (though as a Chicago historian, I can tell you right now that you have to take pretty much any World's Fair story with a grain or two of salt.
Josepha Sherman records a version girls would sing in the early 90s:
There's a place in Venus
where the men show their penis
This is fairly unusual, as actual mentions of body parts are fairly rare in these things - usually they dance around it (ie "Grabbed him by his / cocktails, ginger ale, two and six a glass" and others in the almost cussing genre.
I heard this as:
ReplyDeleteIn the Land of Oz
All the ladies wear no bras
But the men don't care
'Cuz they wear no underwear
(London, ON, circa 1980-83)
I learned the last line of this -as an adult- in Cleveland in the late nineties.
ReplyDelete"And each pair they chew, cost a dollar ninety-two."
The one I heard said "But they ladies don's care, 'cause they chew their underwear.
ReplyDeleteBut it continued:
On the other side of France where they don't wear pants
they need some grass to cover up their ass
And they need something mooshy to cover up their pussy.
South Dakota, 1990s -
ReplyDeleteWe sang the second line as "where the BOYS can see it all"
and followed it with "they've got rubies in their boobies" (?!)
Sadly, I have no memory of the last line.
We sang it as;
ReplyDeleteIn the Land of Oz
All the ladies wear no bras
But the men don't care
'Cause they wear no underwear
This was in the late 90s, in a suburb near Toronto, Ontario.
Is it just me or is the tune of this the same as the tune in the beginning of that new song by Ke$ha "Take it off"?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hp4P4h9I9X4
we have always sang
ReplyDeletetheres a place on mars where the women smoke cigars
and the men wear bikinis
and the children drink martinis
every drink you take
is enough to kill a snake
when the snake is dead
you put diomonds in its head
when the dimond breaks
its the end of 1998
i dont know when i heard this but i have know it all my life and im only 15
my dad always said
theres a place in france
where the aligatrs dance
one couldnt dance so they kicked him in the pants
the pants cost a dollar ninety-eight (whee wheo-whislteing it)
There's a hole in France
ReplyDeleteWhere the women wear no pants
But the men don't care
They don't wear no underwear
They stick it out
And make the women shout.
-Indianapolis, mid to late 1980s.
About 1962 in Los Angeles California public elementary school, about 5th grade.
ReplyDeleteThere's a place in France
Where the women wear no pants
And the men walk around
With their ???wee-wees??? upside down
This was sung to a particular tune that I think is very well-known, which should be documented here. A sort of dance-hall, burlesque ditty... The popularization of the tune centers around Sol Bloom in 1893:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2695/what-is-the-origin-of-the-song-theres-a-place-in-france-where-the-naked-ladies-dance
http://www.shira.net/streets-of-cairo.htm
That "Snake Charmer" Song
I have heard somewhere that the original version of this went like this:
ReplyDeleteAll the ladies in France do the hoochy-coochy dance.
All the men in France they wear whiskey in their pants.
(referring to a hip flask, I assume)
But we always sung it like the OP
I heard this version in Wheatland, CA around 1991... at least I KNOW we sang it then:
ReplyDeleteThere's a place in France
Where the ladies do a dance.
And the dance that they do
Was written by a Jew.
But the Jew couldn't dance
So they kicked him in the pants.
But the pants that he wore
Cost a dollar sixty-four...
PLUS TAX!
But it was all sung in one breath...
I heard this version in Wheatland, CA around 1991... at least I KNOW we sang it then:
ReplyDeleteThere's a place in France
Where the ladies do a dance.
And the dance that they do
Was written by a Jew.
But the Jew couldn't dance
So they kicked him in the pants.
But the pants that he wore
Cost a dollar sixty-four...
PLUS TAX!
But it was all sung in one breath...
the version ive always sang was.
ReplyDeleteThere's a place in France
Where the necked ladies dance
theres a hole in the wall
where the men can see it all
the wemon dont care
couse the men dont whare no underwear
the men whare glasses to cover there asses
Carbondale, IL circa 1988:
ReplyDeleteThere's a place in France
Where the ladies do a dance
And the dance they do
Is enough to kill a zoo
And the zoo they kill
I enough to take a pill
And the pill they take
costs a dollar ninety eight plus tax
Upper Michigan 1970s
ReplyDeleteThere's a place in France
Where the ladies wear no pants
And they do the boogle loo
When they get on top of you
early 90's South Texas
ReplyDeleteThere's a place called France
where the women where no pants
there's a hole in the wall
where the men can see it all
the guards don't care
cause there in there underwear
the king and queen.... cant remember the rest
with a rubber ding-a-ling. xD I remember that part
Delete50's - 60's Los Angeles,CA
ReplyDeleteThere's a place in France
Where the ladies wear no pants
And the men go 'round
With their weiners hanging down....
Early 2000s, Boston area:
ReplyDeleteCoca-Cola went to town
Diet soda knocked him down
7-Up picked him up
Took him to Dr. Pepper
Dr. Pepper gave him
Jelly rolls
Sleeping pills
In the land of Mars, where the ladies smoke cigars
Every puff they take is enough to kill a snake
When the snake is dead they put roses in their head
When the roses die they put diamonds in their eyes
When the diamonds fade then it's time to bake a cake
When the cake is done then it's 1991!
There's a place in France where the people wear no pants. When they climb up a pole you can see their hiney hole ;)
ReplyDeleteThere's a place in France
DeleteWhere the ladies do a dance
and the dance they do
is the hoochie coochie coo
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Coca cola went to town
Pepsi Cola shot him down
Dr. Pepper fixed him up
Now he's drinking 7-Up
I actually know a slightly different version of the snake one mentioned earlier.
ReplyDeleteThere's a place on mars
Where the women smoke cigars
And where the men wear bikinis
And the children drink martinis
Every breath you take
Is enough to kill a snake
And when the snake is dead
They put roses on its head
When the roses die
They put diamonds in its eyes
When the diamonds crack
They put mustard on its back
When the mustard fades
They call the king of Spades
And the king of Spades says
FREEZE
Everyone stops moving at the last line and the first person to move loses.
- New Jersey in the 90s
There's a place in France
ReplyDeletewhere the naked ladies dance
the police dont care
cuz they're in their underwear.
Early 2000s Texas
There's a place in france Where the girls wear no pants And the guys all have cox 3 feet long
ReplyDeleteThere's a place in France
ReplyDeleteWhere the ladies love to dance
There's a whole in the wall
Where the men can see it all
But the dance they do
Is enough to kill a Jew
And the Jew they kill is
Enough to try a pill
And the pill they try
Is enough to tell a lie
And the lie they tell
Is enough to go to hell
Early 90's Ohio
There's a place in France
ReplyDeleteWhere the naked ladies dance
And the dance they do
Is enough to kill a Jew
And the Jew they kill
Is enough to take a pill
And the pill they take
Is enough to fry a snake
And the snake they fry
Is enough to tell a lie
And the lie they tell
Is enough to go to hell
Circa '93, Cincinnati OH
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/2695/what-is-the-origin-of-the-song-theres-a-place-in-france-where-the-naked-ladies-dance
ReplyDelete1893 World Exposition in Chicago
there's a place in France
ReplyDeletewhere the alligators dance
one didn't dance
so they shot him in the pants
the pants he worn
cost a dollar eighty four.
from kindergarten circa 1960
Bozeman MT.
There's a place in Mars where the babies pee in jars
ReplyDeleteAnd the men ware bikinis
And the ladies drink martinis
And the mustard man poured mustard on his head
When the mustard dried there were diamonds in his eyes
When the diamonds break it
Is 1948 POW!!
Mirror Mirror on the wall whos the fairest of them all..?
Maryland 03-04)
There's a place in France
ReplyDeleteWhere the naked ladies dance
There's a hole in the wall
Where the boys can see it all
There's a King and a Queen
With a rubber ding-a-ling
Brandon Gibson 2003
Theres a place in france were the people wear no pants, when they clime up a pole, you can see there hiny hole!
ReplyDeleteTampa Florida 2011
ReplyDeletetheres a place in france were the people sear no pants, when they clime up a hole, you can see their hiny-hole!
I learned it differently, too.
ReplyDeleteTheres a place in france,
Where the naked ladies dance
Theres a hole in the wall,
So the men can see it all,
But the cops dont shoot,
Cuz they think its kinda cute
And all the people watching go
MUTE
(Every Claps after Mute)
Theres a place on Mars
Where the women smoke cigars
And the men wear bikinis
And the children drink martinis
Every breath you take
Is enough to kill a snake
When the snake is dead
You put mustard on its head
when the mustard dries
you put diamonds in its eyes
When the diamonds crack you
FREEZE
(Every Claps right after freeze)
All the girls in France do the hoochi coochi dance, dance they'd do its enough to kill a Jew, Jew they'd kill its enough to take a pill, pill they'd take its enough to fry a snake, snake they'd fry, its enough to tell a lie, lie they'd tell, its enough to go to hello operator ill give you....can't remember the rest
ReplyDeleteAnd of course Fred Schneider (ex-B-52s) did his own version:
ReplyDelete"There's a monster in my pants
And it does a scary dance..."
http://youtu.be/KUnO4gK_56g
One line hearkens back to these more traditional variations: "And they don't wear pants/On the other side of France."
There's a place in France where the naked ladies dance
ReplyDeleteThere's a hole in the wall that the children all saw
There's a king and queen with rubber ding-a-ling
- Sugar Land, TX, Late 90's.
There's a place downtown,
ReplyDeleteWhere the freaks all come around.
It's a hole in the wall.
It's a dirty free for all.
There's a place I know
If you're looking for a show.
Where they go hardcore
And there's glitter on the floor.
~Ke$ha Take It Off
Here's how me and my friends sang it:
ReplyDeleteThere's a place in France where the alligators dance,
the dance that they do was in vented by Magoo,
Magoo didn't dance, so they shot him in the pants,
the pant's that he wore cost a dollar-ninety-four,
plus tax.
Always had to emphasize the plus tax part, and keep in mind Mr. Magoo.
Have fun, and I hope to remember more. Keep smiling :)
I heard my version in Thousand Oaks, CA in the early 1970s.
ReplyDeleteI remember this (circa mid-90s) as:
ReplyDeleteThere's a place in France
where the naked ladies dance
there's a hole in the wall
where the men can see it all
there's a King and a Queen
with a plastic ding-a-ling.
I heard it as
ReplyDeleteIn the land of France, where the naked ladies dance, there's a hole in the wall where the boys can see it all, but the boys don't care cause they chew their underwear.
Upstate NY, late 60s/early 70s:
ReplyDeleteIn the land of France
Where the ladies wear no pants
And the men wear glasses
To see the ladies' asses
My mom's version (Newark, NJ circa 1950):
In the land of France
Where the ladies wear no pants
But they do use grass
To cover up their ass
There's a place in France
ReplyDeleteWhere the naked ladies dance
There's a hole in the wall
Where the boys can see it all
But please don't shoot
Cause I think it's kinda cute
The boys don't care
Cause they're in their underwear
Suburban NY, early '90s
There is a place in France
ReplyDeleteWhere the naked ladies dance
There's a hold in the wall
Where the guys see it all
They don't care
Cuz they still wear their underwear
BOOOOOOOOOO
Metro Detroit, MI late 80's
There's a place called Kitties
ReplyDeleteWhere the girlies show their titties
If you buy a lap dance
You'll get a tent in your pants
Try not to stare
When you see that Kooter has no hair
At the end of her shift
Ask if she could use a lift
It will cost at least grand
But you wont have to use your hand
A lesson you will learn
When your wee wee starts to burn
Now it's off to the doc
Cuz you forgot to wrap your C*ck
He will do some tests
And then he'll send you home with meds
You're not free
Because you could still have HIV
You have wait around a week
And you didn't get no sleep
The phone starts to ring
And the results make you sing
This time you got lucky
Cuz that ho was seriously funky
Next time don't be silly
Put a rubber on that willy
Girls that are trash
Will give you a rash
An hour of pleasure
Can change your life forever
Heard the head start kids singing this last week..they really are growing up fast these days ;)
There's a place in France
ReplyDeletewhere the naked ladies dance
there's a hole in the wall
where the men can see it all
and they way the shake
its enough to kill a snake
when they snake is dead
they put roses in its head
when the roses die
they put diamonds in its eyes
when the diamonds break
they do another shake
Cali or new mexico about 13 years ago? idr
There's a place in France where the women wear no pants,
ReplyDeleteAnd the men go round with their yo-yos hanging down.
Vancouver, BC, Canada, 1950s
There's a place in France where the alligators dance
ReplyDeletebut one wouldn't dance so they kicked him in the pants
and the pants he wore cost a dollar ninety-four
Atlanta suburbs 1968
There's a place in France where the alligators dance
ReplyDeletebut one wouldn't dance so they kicked him in the pants
and the pants he wore cost a dollar ninety-four
Atlanta suburbs late 1960s
There's a place called mars
ReplyDeleteWhere the ladies wear no bras
and the men don't care
cause they don't wear underwear
and they don't wear pants in the naked hula dance
but they wear some grass to cover up their ass.
No one sang my (Texas) version?
ReplyDeletethere's a town in France
Where the people wear no pants
And the men have something hanging down.