Gross school lunch songs have been common in England for, well, probably as long as they're been school lunches (which, in England, started during ww2), and lines from them even inspired John Lennon when he wrote The Beatles "I Am the Walrus" (or, anyway, they seem to have). One sung to the tune of "A-hunting we will go" went:
Snot and pooey pie
snot and pooey pie
all mixed together in a dead dog's eye.
Others recorded around England in the 1950s included:
Scab and matter custard
green snot pies
dead dog's giblets
dead dog's eyes.
And a cup of sick to wash it down!
Beatles fans will surely note the similarity to the Beatles line "Yellow matter custard / dripping from a dead dog's eye."
Others:
Splishy splashy custard
dead dog's eyes,
all mixed up with giblet pies
spread the butty nice and thick
swallow it down with a bucket of sick!
and
Slap a pab of custard, green dog eye
all mixed together with a dead cat's eye
Slap it on thick
Then swill it down with a cup of sick!
At the same time, just to match things up to the 1950s Davy Crocket craze that worked its way into so many of these things, there was:
Say what you will
school dinners make you ill
and shephers's pie
makes Davy Crockett cry.
All school din-dins
come from pig-bins
and that's no lie!
And, of course, the 1950s were right around the time we can probably pinpoint for the origin of The Big One - America's answer to food gross out songs: The immortal Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts
Kay Shapero collected a couple more:
Contributed by Monique MacNaughton:
Scab Sandwiches, pus on top!
Monkey's vomit, camel snot!
Chopped-up bird nuts, chicken gut stew!
Scab sandwiches are good for you!
Contributed by David Hughes:
Scab sandwich, pus on top
Alligator eyes all rolled in guts
Pigs feet dipped in goo
Makes a tasty treat for YOU!
Having just read Pete Shotton's book John Lennon: In My Life about his lifelong friendship with John Lennon, he confirms that John was thinking about the 'custard dripping' line from this rhyme when he wrote I Am The Walrus, as he was there when John wrote it.
ReplyDeleteHe goes on to say that John was actually trying to make light of the fact that his former school master at Quarry Bank High School were learning his songs as poems in English class. John and Pete were terrible students, and frequently made fun of their professors and parodied the work they were learning, so this seemed like perfect revenge. This is a large part of why analysis of I Am the Walrus remains largely fruitless.
Nuneaton, Warwickshire, England, mid-1980s to early 1990s:
ReplyDeleteThe following was sung to the tune of "Frère Jacques":
School dinners, school dinners,
Concrete chips, concrete chips,
Soggy semolina, soggy semolina,
Toilet quick, I feel sick [or vice versa]
sometimes with an additional flourish:
It's too late, I've done it on my plate.
Still makes me smile to think of this thoroughly puerile song today... :-)
In Bradford, West Yorkshire, UK, the version was in the 80's was:
ReplyDeleteYellow matter custard
Snot and bogie pie
Dead dogs giblets
Green cats eyes
Spread it on bread and spread it on thick
Then wash it all down with a cup of cold sick
Does kind of remind me of school dinners back then!
Scab and matter custard...
DeleteIt's from Fungus the Bogeyman by Raymond Briggs.
It was recorded among students in England a good 20+ years before the Briggs book came out.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteAbsolutely right Adam, already old in the 1950s.
DeleteScab and matter pudding, green snot pie
ReplyDeleteAll mixed together with a dead dogs eye
Slap it on a butty, nice and thick
Then swill down with a cup of cold sick
Lancashire, England, 1960
I knew it as
ReplyDeleteSnot, Gob Custard
Scab and Matter Pie
All mixed up with a Dead Dogs Eye
Spread it on your bread
Spread it nice and thick
Then wash it down with a Cold Cup of Sick!
I was taught it by my mum when I was a kid in the eighties, she would have been in school in the sixties.
From Cara
Essex, England
The version at my North Yorkshire school in the mid 50's was
ReplyDeleteScabby scabby custard green snot pie
all mixed up with a dead dogs eye
Snails on toast, spread real thick
all washed down with a cup of cold sick.
From my Dad who grew up on Butt Lane, Kidsgrove, Stoke-on-Trent (1945 ish):
ReplyDeleteScab and matter custard, cat's green eye's, dead dog giblits, rat tail pies. Spread 'em on a butty nice and thick, swill it down your throat with a jug of hot sick.
From my Dad who grew up on Butt Lane, Kidsgrove, Stoke-on-Trent (1945 ish):
ReplyDeleteScab and matter custard, cat's green eye's, dead dog giblits, rat tail pies. Spread 'em on a butty nice and thick, swill it down your throat with a jug of hot sick.
Jelly jelly custard green snot pie, all mixed together with a dead dog's eye. Slap it on a butty, slap it on thick, then wash it down with a cold cup of sick.
ReplyDeletepuss puss custard, green snot pie.
ReplyDeleteall mixed together with a dead mans eye.
Stir in some maggots, to make it all thick.
And drink it all down with a cup of cold sick.
When I was young my father taught me a poem that I thought he made up: 'Diorrhea pudding, green snob pie, all mixed together with a dead dogs eye, put it on the stove, mix it with a stick, and wash it all down with a cup of cold sick'
ReplyDeleteA little inappropriate for a child but ill always remember it!
HERES A GOOD ONE
ReplyDeleteJELLY BELLY CUSTARD
AND GREEN SNOT PIE
ALL MIXED UP WITH A DEAD DOGS EYE
SPREAD IT ON A BUTTY
NICE AND THICK
THEN WASH IT AL DOWN WITH A COLD CUP OF SICK
Cock a doodle do whats it to do with you leave it alone play with your own cock a doodle do ......
ReplyDeleteall the best essexcockney
hot snot and bogie pie all mixed up in a dead dogs eye
ReplyDelete"Scab and matter custard, green phlegm pie ... " was just a chant in our early 1940s playground, it had nothing to do with school dinners.
ReplyDeleteWhen I would ask my mom or grandma what was for dinner I more often then not received this as a reply:
ReplyDeleteHot scab sandwiches,
Pus on top
Monkey's vomit and
Camel's snot.
Everyone's doing it, doing it
Picking their nose and chewing it, chewing it.