These seem to be falling out of favor these days, but rhymes about bathroom customs in the old days certainly go back a while:
In days of old when knights were bold
and toilets weren't invented
they did their load
beside the road
and walked away contented
Sherman recorded that one in New York in the early 1950s. I've also heard:
In days of old when knights were bold
and paper not invented
they'd wipe their ass
with bits of grass
which left them freshly scented
I imagine many more of these go around - post yours in the comments!
Just as a side note, in a college, one of the dozen or so papers I wrote on The Canterbury Tales for the various classes that assigned it was entitled "In Days of Old When Knights Were Bold; Chaucer's Poop Jokes." I think I got a B-
We did this one at a cadet camp in Alberta in the 1990s. We were teenagers, not kids. There were dozens of verses (and flexibility to write them up) and many of them were very explicit.
ReplyDeleteA couple verses I remember:
In days of old when men were bold
And condoms weren't invented
We stuck wool cocks upon our cocks
And babies were prevented
In days of old when men were bold
And women weren't particular
We lined them up against the wall
And fucked them perpendicular
Maybe you mean wool socks. :-)
DeleteIn days of old, when knights were bold
ReplyDeleteAnd ladies weren't invented
The knights bored holes in telegraph poles
And walked away contented.
-- Melbourne, Australia, early 1960s
In Cleveland in the mid-fifties our version was as follows:
ReplyDeleteIn days of old, when knights were bold
And rubbers weren't invented,
They tied a sock around their cocks
And babies were prevented.
I heard something similar to the Cleveland one in New Jersey in the late 80's, but I only ever remember hearing it from one kid -- it wasn't widespread.
ReplyDeleteIn days of old when nights where bold and toilet wern't invented,they dug a hole and sat in it and sat their quite contented, and here am i brocken hearted paid a penny and only farted.
ReplyDeleteUK Bolton 1980
Some come here to sit and wonder.
DeleteSome come here to shit like thunder.
i come here to scratch my balls and read the writing on the walls!
In days of old, when knights were bold, they tied a sock around their cock, and soon rubbers were invented.
ReplyDeleteNYC area 1970's
W-S-M England late 70's
ReplyDeleteIn days of old
ReplyDeletewhen knights were bold
and rubbers weren't invented
They'd wrap a sock
around their cocks
and babies were prevented
Chicago early 1950's (truly)
The cabin boy, the cabin boy,
ReplyDeleteThe dirty little nipper,
Stuffed his ass with broken glass,
And circumcised the Skipper.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteUpstate NY, 1970s
ReplyDeleteHere I sit broken hearted
Paid to shit but only farted
Hard to believe that pay toilets were once a thing. The best comment in a pay toilet, by far, was written along the bottom of the stall door: "Beware of limbo dancers without a dime"
Toilet Wall at school, Perth, Western Australia Circa 1970's
ReplyDeleteHere I sit broken hearted
Paid five cents and only farted
In days of old
ReplyDeleteWhen knights were bold
And suits were made of tin
No mortal cry
Escaped the guy
Who sat upon a pin
in days of yore
ReplyDeletewhen knights were poor
and rubbers weren't invented
they'd wrap a sock
around their cock
and babies were prevented
Civil Air Patrol chant
1970s
Ohio